Monday, 27 September 2010

On the Sasquatch Trail - Jake Gyllenhaal spotted in NYC again

Tonight, we continue to track the Sasquatch. At one time, simply the stuff of traveller's tales, Big Foot (or the Yeti as this mysterious hairy figure is known in colder climes) was a shadowy apparition glimpsed between the trees of dense, mighty forests - a furry flutter caught by the corner of an eye. A figure so in communion with his leafy surroundings that legends grew about his existence while scorn was heaped on those who swore they had seen the Missing Link with their own eyes. But now, possibly due to global warming, the Sasquatch has left his natural habitat and is wandering the streets of New York City. Still, his existence remains a tantalising puzzle, due to the fact that there are no cameras in this great metropolis, but the sightings continue of a figure now known to many by a new urban name, Jake Gyllenhaal.


Last night, Jake Gyllenhaal was observed in Franny's in Brooklyn, where he could no doubt supplement his normal diet of Raccoon and elderberry stew with a lovely piece of marinaded swordfish. The observer tells us: 'Jake gyllenhaal is at franny's tonight!! With a big beard and he smiled at ms honeslty he d not that good looking...' Actually, I must have copied that wrong because I think that says she didn't find him good looking.


Today, Jake was seen by someone else who tells us: 'Jake Gyllenhaal was just at my job. Son had the mean "grizzly adams" beard. Ha!' But, my fellow Sasquatch hunters, there is a hint of good news. This observer tells us Jake was at his job and judging by his Facebook page it appears that that is a beauty product shop!


The problem may be more serious than we thought (even discounting the fact that the 'big and red beard' may be a sign that Jake is about to star in a musical reworking of the life of Henry VIII and his Six Wives). A further report from Le Grand Yummy at the weekend indicates that Jake Gyllenhaal did not queue: 'The Pickle Salad New Yorkese by the chefs from NYC's Torrisi wasn't even feasible unless we wanted to lose life years in line. It should be noted that Jake Gyllenhaal did NOT have to wait in the lines. He, his scruffy beard and Northface backpack went straight up to chefs Mario Carbone and Rich Torrisi and got his bite.'


While it is possible that the Sasquatch has not grown up understanding the etiquette of The Queue, as an English gal who most certainly did and doesn't count a day well spent unless it has at least one queue plus a queue argument in it, this is bad news. One can only trust that with The Shaving, Jake will resume old habits and wait in line like the rest of us in order to get his pickles.

Great news about the NorthFace bag though - points for that. Have a lollipop.


Includes pictures by IHJ and Sasquatch spotters.

40 comments:

sass said...

Absolutely marvelous post...

LadyEkster said...

Priceless. I'm having tears streaming down my face every other line - from laughing that is.
This Sasquatch Hunting is almost turning into a religion, you know: we're following something we've never seen!

That first Facebook sighting must have been a spelling mistake, judging by the rest of it. How hard can it be... :-/

If it hadn't been for The Tudors I would love Jake to portray Henry VIII - a royal, seductive villain, dancing, singing and bedding woman after woman. LAOD would be PG compared to that. ;-)

sass said...

Forgot to say I love Ricky's:)

Wet Dark and Wild said...

Thanks so much, Sass! Good to see you :D Let's hope Jake likes the shaving section...

Yeay, so glad you liked it, Lady Ekster! Gotta say I had a big laugh writing it :D Hmmm, Jake as H8 - not too bad so long as he doesn't focus on the big as a barrel phase of Henry's life - although Jake does appear to be eating an awful lot at the moment - *gulps*

Anonymous said...

But now, possibly due to global warming, the Sasquatch has left his natural habitat and is wandering the streets of New York City.

Who knew Sasquatch was that hot and sexy? Many would have waited in ambush a long time ago. :) Great post.

Anonymous said...

Oh, I'm pretty sure that first tweet was not a spelling mistake. That poor person could not see the beauty that is Jake because of the humongous horrible beard! To me, the beard makes it look like he has a rounder face; we don't know what lenght his hair is but if it's very short, I can see how it would not look good. Obviously, a surprisingly high number of people here will disagree with me. :DDD (I still can't believe the results of the beard poll!)

Olympia

P.S.: do we have any Hawian readers? My word is "allowwa". :)

Anonymous said...

Apparently, I can't spell Hawaiian. :D

Olympia

Wet Dark and Wild said...

Thanks 20:20! Indeed, who'd have though Sasquatch was such a sexpot!

Hey Olympia! We definitely need pictures if only to measure the hair/beard ratio. I imagine that the hair is looking very shaggy now as well. The mind boggles. Good word - now I want a pina colada!!

Anonymous said...

LOL well I am from NY and I can say if you stick around long enough you see a bit of everything, including a Sasquatch from LA roaming the canyons and outer boroughs of NYC.

Well there is hope if this person spotted him at her job in a beauty shop. I wonder if he was buying shaving supplies. I wonder if Nature (or Ripley's Believe it Not) will be filming this extraordinary event. the Sasquatch (aka Jake G) shedding his beard! It is a not be be missed spectacular (like watching Old Faithful or even watching the leaves change color at this time of year. Maybe the whole situation is like the fall foilage falling off the trees. In this case a beard falling off to reveal a handsome face that has been hiding behind a mass of facial hair)

in any case I would love to be there with camera in hand when the sasquatch comes out of his den all clean shaven.

Thanks for keeping us informed (and for the chuckles) WDW

sweetpea

Wet Dark and Wild said...

Hi Sweetpea! It's true to say that Sasquatch would fit right in here in Oxford too! Maybe he only stands out in the forest...

mermon said...

Hi everybody! At last I have time to write anything.
I am happy for Jake that he has some quiet, private time without paparazzi, and fans chasing him . Though I miss him, and would love to see his face - I can imagine how much he enjoys having lunch with friends without too much attention from strangers.
By the way, I like that picture (previous post)from restaurant, where he takes the salt from his lunch companion, look at his hand and the face! He's so sexy there :)
I read this article about POP from Toronto Sun - I just don't understand why The Pirates made so much more money. I like POP more, much more!
What Gemma said was so obvious and truth. I think they could expect grand success. And they really may feel disappointed. All of them - actors, producer, director, costumes makers, etc. Everybody. They did what they could and even more. And they created wonderful movie. I hope Jerry will be brave enough to make a sequel. I'm absolutely sure that second part would be seen by much more people.
Big Foot story is funny WDW. And Jake's visit at beauty product shop give us a chance to see him as we like him. Me personally with two - three days' beard.
Thank you Lisa - BBMISwear for your report from Boston LAOD screening. This kind of staff help me to wait for a movie. I may have a hope that is a good movie and people will like it. That I will like it - I don't worry, I know it. But that is not enough. I feel pure joy when I read good comment about Jake's movies and himself from people who are not Gyllenhaalics.
Jake in every scene - that's heavenly.

Wet Dark and Wild said...

Hi Mermon! Thank you so so much for that lovely long comment - glad to see you back :)

I'm really happy that Jake manages to avoid the paps as he does. It's wonderful for him that he's had a summer pretty much left to his own devices - it just shows what a private man he is and yet when he hear of him he's doing the things that so many of us like to do. So many of us here are foodies for instance. But, to be selfish, I'm ready for a pic :)

The salt picture is beautiful - that's Jake with his old chef friend Chris :)

Jake and Gemma and the whole team have a lot to be proud of for PoP and I'm so glad they made it. My year would have been very different without it.

That's wonderful what you say about Lisa's story - that it gives you pure joy for the movie - hugs for that xx

paulh said...

I seriously doubt that Jake is scruffier or more Sasquatchy than anyone else in new York. Even with a beard, he's very good-looking. I've liked every picture of his beard that I've seen so far. I don't even think he's capable of deliberately making himself look like a slob. He would look in the mirror and realize he had to go back and straighten up.

He's at the exact point in his life when he looks better than he ever has before, and ever will again. Ten years from now we might be looking back with nostalgia, when the "only* problem he had was that he wore a beard. :-)

Wet Dark and Wild said...

Hi Paul! It is indeed true that I doubt many other sasquatches are as good looking as our Jake, in fact he could be a role model for them. Seriously though, I have to agree with you and I've never seen Jake look unattractive in any photo with a beard (the only unattractive ones have been from those early photoshoots - that horrible shower one for instance) but Jake is now such a handsome man, however beardy or non-beardy he may be. And he shines :)

I must say though that 40 year old Jake is gonna be an absolute stunner. Handsome men in my opinion are absolutely at their best at 40 and by then we love them so much that the years after merely add to it.

mermon said...

WDW - "My year would have been very different without it" - I could just say the same.
Paulh - I know from WDW that you had personal contact with Jake. Could you tell us about it. Or if you did it already somewhere, could you give us a link.
I think Jake really looks very good, but I have a feeling that he's going to look that way for very long time or always. It's a matter of a light he has inside, his smile and good character and personality. And beautiful eyes - of course. Good genes. Look at his dad - he didn't lose his hair - looks like Jake's brother- very young and handsome. And Jake is even more handsome :)

LadyEkster said...

I must say though that 40 year old Jake is gonna be an absolute stunner. Handsome men in my opinion are absolutely at their best at 40 and by then we love them so much that the years after merely add to it.
It's such a cliché but it's true: fine men age like fine wine. :-) Personally I think men like Sean Connery and Anthony Hopkins looked absolutely splendid far into their sixties and nowadays still have a load of charisma. So who knows how many decades of drooling we have before us... (and then the sitting by the fire and sharing mead and stories, hah! ;-)).

Wet Dark and Wild said...

Hi Mermon! Jake has great genes :D I met Stephen a couple of years ago and he's amazing :)

hey Lady Ekster! jake would make such an excellent aged wine - definintely something red and fruity :D

paulh said...

I love the responses to my last post. Very wise and thoughtful. All I can add is that skin tone is perfection when a guy is 28 or 29. Muscularity is not quite at its peak, and might be better between 35 and 45. So, there are tradeoffs and cross-currents. I know a guy in his early 60s who seemed like he must be about 35. I was shocked to find out how much older he really is.

What really counts is eating right, getting enough sleep, exercizing properly, and *laughing.* We know that Jake gravitates to good food, and exercizes, and loves to laugh. So, I think you've persuaded me, WDW.

Jake's father is a wonder of youthfulness. He probably set an excellent example when Jake and Maggie were younger.

When I attended Stephen's poetry reading, the Gyllenhaals were there together almost in a tableau. Naomi had a beautiful smile through the whole thing, like a benevolent spirit. Jake fidgeted a little bit, but mostly he was still. Maggie sat at the end of the couch next to Naomi. Her eyes misted a bit when Stephen was reading poems about her. She later mentioned in an interview that being pregnant made her emotions unusually volatile. When Stephen read a line that was about how great Maggie was, he said it with a great deal of conviction, and I sensed a strong bond between them.

I think Jake was a little leery about becoming the center of attention, as it was his father's show. After the reading, I got Stephen's autograph and then left to catch the ferry back to the mainland.

Wet Dark and Wild said...

Hi Paul! Thanks so much for telling the unfamiliar about your Jake adventure - although I think I should add that you were sitting next to Jake on the sofa I believe - how amazing is that?! :) Wasn't he beardy then too?

I do think that Jake is just going to grow into that beauty and physique over the coming years and that is a lovely thought :)

BBMISwear said...

Oh my...I laughed through this whole post...you are such an entertaining writer WDW!! Looking for Sasquatch in NYC is becoming such a funny game and I really am looking forward to some photos more and more every day. *practicing patience*

You're very welcome Mermon! I'm glad my LAOD "report" can help with the wait. I really love to share this type of stuff with people (like you) who get it and appreciate it. It beats sharing with people who say "oh, sounds good". Hee hee!

:-)

lemniscate said...

Hi WDW and y'all lovely ladies 'n gents,

Djeez WDW, you had me in stitches again. ;-)
Whenever I'm getting stressed out at work nowadays, I just dip into this blog and instantly lighten up. THANK YOU so much for creating our daily dose of healthy, wholesome Jake-ness.

Tudor H8 musical? Or, perhaps it's a historic, dramatic pirate tale... Barbarossa! *evil grin*
Nah. I think @mermon and @paulh are spot on. Beard = portable hidey-hole + dislike of the daily shave. Simple. Oh, and let's not forget his mentions of asceticism.

@paulh
Thanks so much for sharing your insights into the male "peak physique" and your personal experience at Stephen Gyllenhaal's poetry reading. Piquant. Intriguing.

@WDW, @LadyEkster
Hmm, Jake at 40 and beyond... Totally agree! He belongs to that rare breed who only get better with age.
That said, this "40" reference holds painful memories for me. Sorry, I just need to let it out - Skip this next part if you want to avoid a serious, OT downer!
Going down -
This conversation about aging reminded me of a friend and a comment Jake made earlier this year. I do hope Jake won't utter his "I'm never gonna be 40" nonsense again. Makes my stomach turn. I've heard that line before. And as it turned out, my dear friend was not joking. She surprised us all. It triggers a strong sense of guilt and regret, and also reminds me of the pact I made with myself then, to always speak up. So now I'm like: Never again - Not on my watch mate!
- Coming up (turns up Macy Gray's "Beauty in The World").

And finally...
Jake Gyllenhaal, a queue jumper? No! I hate q-jumpers... So arrogant and selfish. Bah!
It better not be true. What about patience, kindness, mindfulness? Could this be the first crack in our hitherto blissfully perfect, unrequited love affair? NO!!! ;-)

OT - Watched "I'm Still Here" yesterday (iTunes pre-premier promo).
Enjoyed it with couple of friends. Confronting. Thought provoking. Generated interesting discussions afterwards. Clear sign of a worthy to watch film.

Jake Fan said...

Sorry about your friend Lemniscate.

I think we all worry too much about age to the point of missing so much of life.

The key to Jake's beard is his niece Ramona. If we can just get her to ask Uncle Jakey to shave, I think he would. Not even he can resist those big baby blues. He knows the power they hold.

Anonymous said...

Been enough reports of Jake getting coffee or this or that when there have been other people in line and no comments that he didn't wait just like everyone else.
IF it was him - its doesn't seem typical.

lemniscate said...

@Jake Fan

Ta.

Haha! Brilliant "shave it" strategy.
"Uncle Jake, your beard is itchy. No more hugs til you shave!"

@Anonymous
True, doesn't seem like him at all. We need more context...

Anonymous said...

Tee hee hee WDW, this post really brightened my day at work!

I agree with Lemniscate about the healthy and wholesome enjoyment of Jake on this blog. It's like a breath of fresh air. (Lemniscate may I also say how sorry I am about your friend.)

I look forward to continued Sasquatch spotting.:) Jake really loves to go out to every food place in Brooklyn. :)

Cheers

Tui

Anonymous said...

Sasquatch :D :D
I think somebody with solid knowledge of windows Paintbrush program should start working on identikit!

Wet Dark and Wild said...

Good morning everyone! Last day off before back to the grindstone :) I have to wash the car today - think of me... :((

Lovely to see you, BBMISwear :-) I hoe you're getting sometime now to take it easy and fit in some vital Jaking. And thank you!

Evenin' Lemniscate! Fab comment, thank you :D I am so glad that you can de-stress here - I have to say it's very good for me with that too.

I'm sorry to hear about your friend. You just never know. I'm counting on many happy years for Jake and us ahead. Barbarossa?? OMG it gets worse - Genghis Khan The Musical?? Maybe Robert the Bruce :D

That is so true, Jake Fan! The power of the niece. One of these days she'll go up to Uncle Jake and go 'Ewww, there's squid in your beard!' and it'll be gone.

Hi 03:18 - what I reckon happened as I'm gonna give Jake the benefit of the doubt cos I love him and I'm biased is that because the chefs actually know him they fed him. Jake will know all these NYC chefs.

Thanks so much, Tui! That is so nice and makes me happy :) I wonder how Jake plans which restaurant to go to next - is it by a spider web pattern (a bit like ants in the jungle) or an alphabetical selection... Hmmm.

Morning 09:22! Yep, we should have identikits on the corner of every Brooklyn street :D

Have a good day everyone! So good to see you all :)

winterbird said...

Jake needs to come to midtown where I am at the moment! So I can give you an HONEST account - not that good looking? Was that coming from a Twilight fan? :P

LadyEkster said...

This is probably the only place where I can share this without getting banned from society: I dreamt about Sasquatch Hunting tonight. Seriously. I dreamt I was in a large theatre with all you guys (funny how in dreams it doesn't matter when you actually don't know people ;)) and at the far right end of the row we were sitting in was... Jake. Chatting to a faceless male friend. And entirely covered in hair. All of us were looking at him in horror but he just ignored us and after the lights went down and the play started, he disappeared.

I need to get my mind back on my thesis before this gets worse. *shivers*

Paul, thanks for your story! :-)
Lemniscate, I'm so sorry about your friend. :( I think I know a little bit what you mean, my dad always says that he won't get very old and it pisses me off immensely.

Wet Dark and Wild said...

Yeay! Greetings to Winterbird all the way over there across the pond. Hope you're settling in :D Keep those eyes peeled! Maybe their glasses were dirty?

Morning Lady Ekster! I often dream about Jake I have to say and often it's in a theatre! But fortunately I can usually see his face, and he's not one big massive furball :D

TD said...

Hilarious!
TD

mermon said...

Hello!
Paulh! Thank you so much for your story. I can only imagine, how nice feeling it was to sit next to Jake. I would sit like on red hot coals and I'm not sure if I could concentrate on Stephen's poem.:)Though I'm sure it was worth it.
That is so in Jake's style that he was not happy about getting attention which should go to his father. Good son. I like Gyllenhaal family.
I think "eating right, getting enough sleep, exercising properly, and *laughing.*" - is good for everyone in each age and sex. That simple and wise advise.
"Jake's father is a wonder of youthfulness. He probably set an excellent example when Jake and Maggie were younger".
I was always wondering what was the way Jake's parents raised their children. They are so humble and confident at the same time. And they have great sense of humour. Mr and Mrs Gyllenhaal could give a lesson to many parents. I could use some advises myself.
I wonder if is it possible to find this Stephen's poetry reading somewhere, on youtube maybe?
Lemniscate - sorry about your friend.
WDW - how lucky you are having dreams with Jake. I only have day dream with him :)
Have a good day!

Anonymous said...

There is a picture of Jake at Le Fooding event in NYC!!
And I'm speechless.... he's still cute but this beard is horrible!! He needs to shave ASAP
http://uk.eonline.com/uberblog/the_awful_truth/b202664_jake_gyllenhaal_debuts_new_beard.html?cmpid=rss-000000-rssfeed-365-awful&utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter&utm_campaign=rss_awful

Jake Fan said...

Aaw, I think he's adorable there in that pic at E!

Sasha said...

A great read WDW - and great comments everyone ...

Sorry about your friend lemniscate.

He looks really nice in that picture :D and the beard is not a bit redish - maybe it comes with the light *shurgs*
But the beard also makes him look old - sorry Jake ... I love you but I love you more without a beard like my dads. ;)

Talking about age and the breed that gets more handsome with age - and George C. being one of them, I now want to say he WAS one of them, the last pic I saw of him wasn't that handsome. Maybe just bad angle ... but I'm sure Jake will only get better like Sean C.

hm, since I can slowly imagine what old age would mean to me I'd rather not get very old :(

Wet Dark and Wild said...

Thanks TD!

Hi Mermon! Seeing Jake is quite a crazy thing I must say. I went to a poetry reading by Stephen with Ruby in London a couple of years ago and it was quite an evening!

Hi 16:52 :)

I think I agree with you, Jake Fan! He looks like my teddy...

New post!

28 September 2010 17:43

lemniscate said...

Hi WDW and y'all,

Thanks for all your condolences guys.
Time will heal.

x
lemniscate

paulh said...

I think that people reach old age and make their peace with it because there is no choice.

I've heard that the people who live long and well tend to be those who refuse to act their age. If you're 88 but you feel 18, you act the way you feel (adjusting for any mobility or hearing issues you might have). The Internet is actually good for this, because your spirit comes through the Internet, not your body.

Anyway, turning 40 is no big deal, nor is turning any other age. Why can't we all just be ourselves?

mermon said...

Paulh - I work with old people, I mean I take care of them and they are so different according to how they feel about themself. The most charming and easygoing are those with youthful soul. They usually do a lot of interesting things, move a lot and stay more healthy than the others - frustrated, bitter, waiting for death.
I agree - internet could be great for older people to keep the brain work more alive, but many of them are afraid of computer. At least in Poland - my country. But some of them find a joy in it. Like my Dad - he communicates with me by net, plays bridge, paste photographs etc.
When you are 40 - is still a half of your life ahead of you. Is it still exciting - it depends on you. :)

Wet Dark and Wild said...

Totally agree with you Paul and Mermon :)