With Jake Gyllenhaal absent and with his favourite bands Mumford and Sons and U2 playing in The Swamp (aka Glastonbury) tonight, one can't help but fantasise that, as we speak, Jake is ensconced in a pair of floral wellies in front of the Pyramid Stage while chewing on a veggieburger. We are also, of course, well into the countdown to Jake's appearance on Man Vs Wild. And so it seems fitting to present here Bear Grylls' guide to surviving Glastonbury. If Jake has packed English mustard (and waders), he'll be fine.
Jake was interviewed for Interview magazine back in 2007 by none other than David Fincher. Jake let slip 'If you put me in mud, you'd see how much fun I could have'. With any luck, David Ayer has read this because, if you're meaning a gritty LAPD drama, what could be more appropriate than a mud scene?
Of course, Jake has been muddy in a good cause before. In Bubble Boy, Jake gave the stuntman a day off, and dived into a mud pit for some wrestling with a couple of young ladies. This was slightly negated by Jake being in a bubble at the time.
Showing that Jake has mud on his mind, years earlier he revealed a certain dream: 'Last night I dreamt that I was at a crazy party in Central Park. There was a mud bath and no-one wanted to get in.' Their loss.
Of course, sometimes, it's not mud.
While we're thinking Bubble Boy...
Pictures from IHJ.