Stop the presses! You're going to want to sit down for this and it'll take more than a cuppa to revive you. Jake Gyllenhaal has lost his Face Pet! Yes, last seen leaving with Jake for San Francisco, it appears to have gone missing in that fair city and - it gets even more serious - it took The Green Trousers with it! So worried is Jake by the disappearance of his Face Pet that he had to consult the doctor, where he was photographed yesterday (12 January).
The medical verdict: 100% hotness (hair, face, t-shirt, jeans, arms all in perfect order). Nothing to worry about. Although we can't see the shoes...
A reward has been issued for any information leading to the recovery of the Face Pet and The Trousers although I understand there's an even bigger reward should you keep their whereabouts a secret.
Photo from JustJared.