Sunday, 6 January 2013

Jake Gyllenhaal breaks his New Year's resolution already

As we go into 2013, it becomes clear that Jake Gyllenhaal is not doing his bit to keep the New Year Resolutions that I so kindly made for him. Jake might be working off the holiday feasting by going to the gym (along with three quarters of the population) but what he has not done is a) despatch the Face Pet and b) abandon all ugly shoes. Clean Shaven With Nike is my 2013 motto for Jake.

On New Years Eve, Jake decided to give my birthday invitation a miss. He instead attended a concert by Jay Z and Coldplay.

On 4 January, Jake was spotted leaving Soul Cycle in NYC. The committee is still out, trying to determine the exact nature of what it is that Jake has on his feet but it's pretty clear - I can spot a Christmas present at 50 feet.

Speaking of the holidays, I was delighted to see that Female First have voted as one of their 12 Men of Christmas.

Thanks to IHJ for the first pics of 2013!

I've been doing some movie reviews over the last couple of days:
The Impossible


Wet Dark and Wild said...

Hello everyone! I hope you had/are having a good weekend. Good to see Jake out and about but blimey that beard needs to go! (along with the shoes....)

Anonymous said...

Dying for jake to shave, loved his look promotion source code. Fingers crossed!!


Sasha Hoyt said...

What a funny post, Kate! I am also disappointed that the face pet is still in charge.

It can't be February soon enough for me.
And I swear to God - if Denis lets Jake in front of his camerea with a beard AGAIN, I might have to find him and have a word or two.

Dani said...

When will we ever see Jake's beautiful face again? I don't know how much more I can take! I hope that he's not keeping this for his new film. I keep praying for some type of intervention or a good old fashion order from his mother that it's time to shave.

Laure said...

New post, new visit!
Forgive my absence; I've faced a volatile situation. What do they say about good intentions? That the road to...some dark hot place is paved with them, right?

Salvation came in the unexpected form of "The Day After Tomrrow" DVD brought by my friends, so I've enjoyed, for the 4th (?) time, a 23 year old, pouting, baby-faced Jake. But frankly, who could resist a fresh-faced Jake? Even more so now that he has a passion for bushy Wild West facial hair...

Then I came here and found your post, Kate. Thank you 1000 times for you humour! It's a breath of fresh air.
"The committee is still out, trying to determine the exact nature of what it is that Jake has on his feet but it's pretty clear - I can spot a Christmas present at 50 feet" left me in stitches.
No doubt about it: the "post-apocaliptic" footwear must be a gift. Do you think he kept the receipt?

The beard... talk about a hairy situation. Just when I was thanking God that Detective Loki is a contemporary character, therefore Jake can't go all Serpico on us, these new pictures surfaced. Jake's facial hair has already surpassed the Serpico level; it's heading into Hatfields & McCoys territory.

Seems that FemaleFirst is on the same page with us: "He has now grown back his full head of hair but has unfortunately let it take over his entire face, we’re crossing our fingers that someone has bought him a razor for Christmas". Alas, his friends had other ideas for gifts: they bought him ugly shoes...

P.S. Detective Loki is an accomplished, by-the-book detective, he must have a dress (and grooming) code.
Could his appearance be similar to the right picture FemaleFirst has posted? Where do I submit the petition?

LadyEkster said...

Happy New Year WDW! :) I couldn't agree more on your New Year's resolution for The J. Those shoes deserve an intense case study into the correlation between one's shoes and his facial hair behaviour... I laughed out loud when I saw the pic on Twitter.
Hugs for everybody <3

Susan said...

Hi Kate! It's shameful how Jake keeps ignoring our pleas regarding his grooming and wardrobe...

I can think of a few reasons why he has kept the beard, ranging from plausible to absurd:
1. He has made a bet with someone either about how long the beard will become or how long he can wait before he is forced to shave it
2. He REALLY despises having to shave
3. It provides a darn good disguise, giving him more privacy as he tromps around New York
4. He's enjoying the attention the Face Pet gets
5. He loved the role of Uncle Terry so much he can't let it go
6. He falsely assumed the new shoes would divert negative attention from the beard
7. It actually is a surrogate pet, one that he can take with him everywhere, that he can enjoy combing, grooming, and stroking
8. He's campaigning for the role of Moses in a remake of The Ten Commandments
9. He's toying with the idea of playing a homeless psycho wandering the streets of NYC

Wuppie/Sonja said...

"3. It provides a darn good disguise, giving him more privacy as he tromps around New York"

Yeah, that's what I thought!

I'm glad I'm not the only one who is disappointed with Jake's looks nowadays... along with everyone here and on the Ultimate Brokeback Forum!

Come on Jake, give us a break!

You all made me laugh with your posts, though!

Love, Sonja.

Daniela said...

Hi everyone!
Makes a good time since I've been here!
Better late than never, happy 2013! haha :)

Options 8 and 9 are the funniest, Susan rs


Maria said...

Really funny, I also opt for 3, the good disguise.

One more option:

10. His mum or married girlfriend don´t want him to attract beautiful women, so they advise him to keep the face pet.


BBMISwear said...

Hello everyone...I'm finally somewhat human again after being sick for a week and it's been a joy to come back here and read all the funny commentary!!

I agree 100% about the beard (how I miss his face) but I have to wonder what type of weather everyone who doesn't like Jake's boots has in their home towns at the moment? I (and most in my family) own the same pair of boots that Jake is wearing! No, I wouldn't wear them to a cocktail party or the like but when walking around the great outdoors anywhere in the Northeastern part of the United States in the dead of winter boots like this are just downright needed! Pretty? Nope. Needed to stay warm and dry? Yup!! So I'm with Jake on this one - ha ha!

In the last post there was a bit more talk about regional accents in America based on the bits about Prisoners filming locations. I'm interested in what you'll think, Susan, after seeing how things progress during filming. I'm starting to question if I'll get the joy of Detective Loki speaking in a Boston accent after all since there have been some websites reporting that Philadelphia will be another place they may be filming. Could Detective Loki maybe be called upon from Philly to help in a case happening in New England? Or maybe Philly will be used as "Boston" since Georgia is being used as "Massachusetts"? It's all pretty crazy sounding to me but I guess we'll find out soon enough - can't wait for the first bits of news from on set!

Thanks for the post Kate - you had me laughing as usual!!


mermon said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
mermon said...

@Lisa! I'm with you on Jake's boots! I like them. I thought I'm the only one. Surely they are not for Golden Globes but for the wet winter they seem right. We want Jake to feel warm in his feet, right? And healthy! So let him dress properly.
11. Beard is a hairy blanket on his face in that cold time to keep his precious face warm.
Mentioning Golden Globes:
Jake & Kirsten at 2003 Golden Globes

Wet Dark and Wild said...

Hello everyone! So good to see you all! You are fab. FAB!

Fingers crossed indeed, Ciara!

Thanks, Sasha! Yep, Denis will be in trouble.I don't want him to shave off Jake's hair, mind you, either...

Hi Dani! This is not a good look. I'm missing the face.

Hi Laure! I hope the situation has calmed down and worked out for you... Good intentions are made to be tested. Day After Tomorrow was on TV here the other day, I love Jake in that film. It was the film in which I fell for him. I am so glad you enjoyed the post and it gave you a laugh! Female First has been a great fan of Jake's over the years. So good to see they still have him in their sights!

Happy New Year, Lady E! Good to see you!

That is a great list, Susan! He's gotta be doing it on purpose. He can't be doing it as a ddisguise because everyone is now looking out for a very beardy man in a baseball hat with bad shoes. He needs to do the opposite to hide these days.

Hi there Sonja! You're definitely not the only one. Hmmmm, c'mon, Jake!

Great to see you, Daniela! Thanks for coming back :)

Hi Maria :)

Hey there BBMISwear :-) I hope you're feeling better. Oh no! You mean there's more than one pair of these shoes in existence? I was hoping they were a one off special. In Britain at the moment there's only one footwear - wellies. Next time I see you, I promise not to insult your shoes ;)

I'm looking forward to hearing the accent too. Will be a new one for Jake. And a pleasant change from Estuary English...

Hi Mermon! Now there are two of you ;) Thanks for the link!

Thanks to all of you! Have a lovely evening :)

LadyEkster said...

7. It actually is a surrogate pet, one that he can take with him everywhere, that he can enjoy combing, grooming, and stroking

OMG Susan. *rofl*
I imagine Jake, late in the evening, getting ready for bed. He's standing in front of the bathroom mirror, gently stroking his beard, caressing it with a comb. Then, he slides under the covers, splaying out Sasquatch over the other pillow and bending himself in the most awkward positions trying to spoon his Face Pet.

Thank you for putting that image in my head... :-P

ANTJE said...

First glancing at the NYC pictures I thought the heavy boots on Jake are by LANDS' END!!??

lemniscate said...

Hi y'all,

Agree with @BBMISwear and @mermon reg the boots. It gets friggin' cold in NYC in Winter. And, they're the kind of boots that last a lifetime. Excellent choice of footwear, I say. Ask Bear.

@Susan and @LadyE - OMG! You two crack me up ;-)
Definitely number 7… and now I can't get that image of "Jake the contortionist trying to spoon his own beard" out of my mind. Yikes!

At the risk of repeating myself… I LOVE FACE PET! (I'm gonna have T-shirts made. Seriously! - All moneys raised will go to charity, of course. Some "men's rights to not shave" group or something). It's so part of him now. It is him. I got quite a shock when I saw him all bald and exposed in EOW. Freaky…
Also, his face pets seem to come and go like natural disasters, so I think naming each manifestation individually might be in order. You know, like tropical storms… and what not. Not sure what letter of the alphabet we're up to with this creature. I'd love to baptise it "The Lincoln", but will need to research past seasons of JG beards to determine a name starting with L is justified. Could use all you's help and expertise with that… ;-)

But,… all fun and games aside… I'm worried about him again. He looks so pale and skinny,… and seems extremely cagey. What's up with the "all black, all buttoned up" outfit? If that doesn't scream "I'm depressed", I don't know what does… Is he desperately trying to shake off the moniker "Hollywood Hunk" by trying to be as unattractive as possible? Well, it'll never work on us mate… We love ya - as is! Oath!

Susan said...

LadyEkster, you are very welcome for the image in your head - and thank YOU for sharing it with all of us! LOL!

BBMISwear (Hey Lisa...), I have no real idea of what the filmmakers are planning, but I don't think Det. Loki will be from Philly. I think he could possibly be from Boston (and therefore possibly have The Accent), a "big-city, hot-shot detective" to contrast with Hugh Jackman's character, a working-class family man from a small community. If Conyers, GA can be a small town in Massachusetts, then surely Philly is up to the task of doubling for Boston?

So perhaps you can help answer this question - why choose to film in Conyers at all? Why not film in a small town or rural area in Massachusetts? The only reason I can think of is that with a wintertime filming schedule, the weather down south is probably a lot more friendly and looks more like autumn in New England. Oh - another reason! It's probably a lot more economical to film in Georgia as well.

Marija said...

Hi, y'all! I'm new here and I just wanted to say hello. I probably won't comment on the posts that often but I'll be here and read all the news :) Happy New Year!

BBMISwear said...

The continued beard and boot conversations have me laughing - I love how Jake's "style" can get us all talking!! I'm glad there are some cold weather people out there who get it about the boots - hee hee. No worries about even seeing my boots, Kate, hopefully when you visit New England again it will be at a time of year that we are having gorgeous weather and no boots needed (just like last time)!

Love the "Hey Lisa", Susan - I'll never get sick of that (and it's even my ringtone)! I think you are right on with your guess re: filming in Georgia instead of Mass. Mass has allowed for a lot more films to be made here in the last few years thanks to the tax breaks now being offered to filmmakers but overall it is more expensive to do just about anything here compared to many other areas in our country (especially compared to non-coastal states). And the horrible winter weather (hence the boots - ha ha!) pretty much seals the deal. It's going to be exciting to find exactly where our Detective Loki will hail from. Trying to be patient!!


Wet Dark and Wild said...

Hello everyone! Loving the comments - thank you!

Hey Lady E! Grooming of the Sasquatch must be taking much of Jake's time at the moment...

Hi Antje! No idea, I'm afraid. I can't look at them long enough to tell.

Hey Lemniscate! Naming the Face Pets is a great idea. We should certainly begin now as the year begins and then later on when Jake is all baldy we'll look back on this time and nod our heads. I do agree, though, this is not a look I care to see as it does look and I hope it passes. Jake is looking too gaunt to me. I miss the shine.

Hi Susan! I think it's gotta be expense and work conditions. It would seem strange otherwise not to film where it's set.

Hello Marija and welcome! Thanks so much for commenting and I do hope we see you again soon! Thank you :)

I'll take that warm summer NE sun, Lisa! No hurricane this time, please... :-) Lovin the chat about the locations and accents!

I hope everyone's having a good evening. Loving the chat!

mermon said...

I would name a Face Pet - a Soon To Be Rasputin! Lincoln is very fine as well!
I don't see him to be skinny, on the contrary!
I will share here a great description of Jake made by Evie from IHJ forum. She saw him 3 times in Roundabout Theater from quite close distance. Last time Dec.11th Sitting up close, I could appreciate how slim he is. He doesn't look particularly pumped, but he is still solid, and, as always, quick, graceful, and flexible."
I like that description! That's our Jake! All the treasure is very well hidden under warm clothes and beard. But we know it's there! :)

lemniscate said...

@WDW - Hm, yes gaunt. No shine. Not healthy. It's not just the beard or the boots… or whatever he's wearing - I don't care about that stuff, to be honest - it's this seemingly overall lack of care for his appearance that's bugging me. I hope it's something physical - a nasty post holidays stomach bug… But, this "look" has been making an appearance frequently… (pre-Terry, post-Terry). Concerned it's a reflection of the artist's angst: "I don't care how I look - I hate myself". Sets off alarm bells in me… Or, maybe it's just another example of the "creativity of the audience", and the ability of the human mind to squeeze out meaning even when none is there… ;-)

Just read that Ben Mendelsohn is in talks to join Jake Gyllenhaal for Mississippi Grind, and Jake will produce:
OMG! He's one of my favourite Aussie actors… If you haven't seen "Animal Kingdom" or "Beautiful Kate" yet, do. Now all we need is a bit of Guy Pearce in the mix and I'm in heaven! Yes, yes, yes please, pretty please, on my knees. Can't wait!
Also looking forward to some Jackman/Gyllenhaal energy sparking off the big screen in "Prisoners". Hugh Jackman is such a freakishly talented and amazingly good guy. He's like, too good to be true, really. Great role model! Hope he becomes a close friend and mentor to Jake.

@Susan @BBMISwear - Keeping my fingers crossed Det. Loki will hail from Boston. Love that accent… Sure Jake will nail it. Didn't he live in Boston as a kid?

@mermon - Hm, sorry… I have to admit. Not a fan of the persona Rasputin. Scary fella! And the face pet bares no resemblance to Abe Lincoln's dutchie… So, should we just start with the letter A? And why not a woman's name? ;-) "Adine" anyone? (meaning: tender, delicate, adornment, quiet, Gods gift and able:

Maria said...

@lemniscate, I have a simular feeling on his appearance: I don't care what I look like, I hate myself. The way he looks is so extreme, ever since he finished end of watch. He does look healthy to me, the paleness on the Photo is due to flash light.

Doesn't he realize that looking like this also hampers his career. Although the prospects are good, let's hope for an excellent year. Hope we have to give his clean shaven face a name, not the face pet. Love lincoln as a name for the face pet.